Gloria Masters
  • Home
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Contact
Search

On Angels Wings

Self Love

28/8/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Self-love takes commitment and determination. It is challenging, misunderstood and completely underestimated in its power to change lives.
Sounds like a massive statement - but I stand by it. 
​What’s clear about self-love is the confusion around it, please forgive the pun. Traditionally it has been at odds with spiritual teachings on ‘good’ and ‘right ways’ to behave. The problem is we’ve been told all our lives to put others first, so that’s why we have and still do.
And yet.
There’s a part of us that needs to look after ourselves, put ‘us’ first, and value who we are without feeling bad about it. This part yearns to be considered, acknowledged and placed before others. But society has other ideas.
 
We all do our best and recognise that each person’s best is different according to how they see things. However, self-love is not ok, acceptable or supported in any way. So, here’s a few myths put to rest:
Selfishness is not self-love
Self-promotion is not self-love
Self-adoration is not self-love
Kindness and acceptance are.
 
It’s taken me years and lots of angst to get this. My whole childhood was one of exploitation and never being considered, so I guess its no surprise. But really, the damage was in part due to never accepting let alone loving myself.  The family did not support it, neither did the school, wider community or the church. So, when self-love was being handed out, the door got firmly slammed in my face. Simply put; self-love basically equated to selfishness, arrogance and thinking you were better than others. I never stood a chance.
 
Over time, what became clear, was that I was always hungering after something more. I didn’t recognise it as self-love, but what I did notice was that I was feeling resentful, fed up and annoyed with people when they wanted something else from me. I realised the tank was empty, and I needed to fill it up, and soon. When I eventually did, it changed how I saw, well everything. I also recognised not just the value but the absoloute need for loving myself to be a continuing and crucial part of my life. Without it I am less, and the inner critic becomes more. Paradoxically I am not able to be as giving to others.
True that.
 
The theory about ‘loving ourselves as being wrong’, has got to stop, its damaging and inaccurate. If like me, you have taken a while to realise this and want to fix it, here’s some simple steps to try.
 
  • Check in on how you are feeling
  • Take note of that and decide on an action
  • Make sure the action you choose ‘fills you up’; e.g., getting takeaways instead of cooking, watching Netflix instead of working, walking the beach VS cleaning the car
  • Allow guilt to leave the building. Done.
  • Tell yourself you deserve this and are giving back to you
  • Repeat these actions often
 
Don’t be surprised if self-recrimination and guilt pop in for a visit. That’s to be expected, gently explain you’re too busy to see them and firmly close the door. Now more than ever you need to give back to yourself, honour yourself and well, love yourself. You cannot give on empty, that’s not going to work. Loving yourself if as important as loving others. The sales pitch from long ago doesn’t work anymore, putting everyone first is just plain wrong. Yes, you have to respect and honour others, and sometimes consider others before you. But all too often that becomes ‘the way’ instead of ‘the choice’.
Start choosing you, it is not selfish, wrong or arrogant, rather it is sensible, wise and pragmatic.
Giving to self ensures you have something in you that feels nourished supported and valued. You naturally do it for everyone else, how about doing it for you?
 
Go on I dare you
Start to love you
Your Angels sure do
 
For this and any other blog post feel free to comment, like or share.
 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Angels
    Anxiety
    Depression
    Disappointment
    Doubt
    Endings
    Faith
    Finding Hope
    Forgiveness
    Friendship
    Goals
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Impact
    Joy
    Kindness
    Life's Like That
    Love
    Negative People
    Parenting
    Perception
    Power
    Rejection
    Resilience
    Self Love
    Shadow Self
    Spiritual Stuff
    Staying Positive
    The Choice
    The Inner Critic
    The Journey Begins
    The Law Of Allowing
    Thoughts Matter
    Timing
    Tolerance
    Toxic People
    Trust
    Vision
    What If....

    Archives

    November 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019

    RSS Feed

Recent Articles

What If
​Angels
Grace 
Depression
Gratitude

Gloria Masters - On Angels Wings

Home/Blog
About
Subscribe
Contact

Gloria Masters - On Angels Wings  |Copyright 2019  |All Rights Reserved
Website by My Virtual Assistant
  • Home
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Contact