Everyone’s doing it, reviewing their lives through setting goals. Many people can be heard discussing how they have now achieved ketogenic gold or run their 3rd marathon in 3 months. I can’t lay claim to either of those…
Setting goals tends to give us focus and where attention grows, energy goes or so we’re told. The truth is if we don’t set goals, we carry on doing what we have always done and wonder why life isn’t delivering. No one encapsulated this more than Einstein when he said ‘the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results’.
As creatures of habit, this is exactly what we do, and the reason why goals are so important to have in our lives. We can set goals about anything we want, but the most popular seem to be diet, fitness and workplace ones.
One aspect we don’t tend to focus on is improving who we are as people. It’s taken for granted we are all great exactly as we are, and though not untrue, there is always room to improve and try to become the best version of ourselves. We know that grace is alive and well and waiting for us, but we just don’t tend to work with it or make it a priority.
Small but important point ‘we can’t be better people if we don’t give attention to it.
Focusing on improving who we are has a myriad of benefits, the main one being we develop more self-awareness around our behaviour and therefore develop it. It is highly recognised that self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence, as coined by Daniel Goleman - but most of us tend to focus outwards on other people improving who they are. After all, why would we change? We’re fine the way we are.
But what if we could be more: kind, loving, and respectful?
If we chose to highlight those areas, we could change not only ourselves but the world around us. Hang on, let me finish.
A common belief is that the world needs more unity and love, and that it is important to build more of that in our lives. What tends to happen is we look to leaders and people of influence to change the world for us, rather than us changing it for ourselves. It sounds like a massive undertaking, but as with anything, it begins with one small action or realisation and then we are off. We ultimately reach a place of understanding that reinforces the power we have to change ourselves for the better which means we influence the world around us in a different more loving way. Who doesn’t want that?
Starting is the challenge and placing emphasis on this means it’s more likely to happen.
All we need to do is look at ourselves - not at others.
Being human of course, means it’s easier for us to judge them and find them wanting, recognising we have power over how we think and can change it is equally true.
There are lots of ideas and techniques that help shift our focus, attention and equilibrium.
Some simple ways to move this along are:
To take a breath before responding
To be kind instead of right
To allow others their time in the sun
To become a little more insightful about my behaviour
Having goals around this gives it focus and momentum, and it works.
Looking within, choosing to be responsible rather than blaming makes us better people.
Or so I hope
I’ll set a goal around it and let you know
Would love more ideas on these blogs. Feel free to ask for topics and I will happily respond.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Kind thoughts to all