I was reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth the other day, and one line in particular stood out; ‘Treat the situation you are in as if you had chosen it’. His thinking was that we might manage it differently if we came from a place of acceptance and openness.
The underlying premise being that what we are experiencing is there to help us grow and evolve move fully. It struck a chord with me, as it is so easy to fall into victim mode and then feel powerless as if we have no control over what is happening.
Don’t get me wrong; acting as if we had chosen it comes with its own challenges but if we can try and work through what we're dealing with by owning that mindset, we may just find the lesson in it. For those of us that face really difficult ongoing challenges, this can feel insurmountable. Not for one moment is the suggestion that we feel we deserve anything traumatic or that we want to suffer. Rather, if we can find a way to manage what is instead of fighting and resisting it, we stand more of a chance of the situation becoming less painful and traumatic. The added bonus is that we grow our resilience and develop more empathy along the way.
For me personally; I seem to have chosen a life this time round which is full of ongoing and difficult challenges on all fronts. As I write this, I feel like laughing out loud - though more out of hysteria than humour. I never have any idea of what’s coming next, but it just keeps coming. Naturally some of it I am not overly surprised by, but for the rest, Mmmm.
My ongoing question becomes how seriously I view it all and what action I decide to take. On the work front the challenges are mainly around people’s behaviour which I cant possibly control. The question then becomes accepting what is, challenging what isn't, or trying to find middle ground so everyone feels respected and supported. In the end though, I simply hand it over to my Angels because it's too much for me and I have no idea of what to do. The good news is my Angel sure do.
On the family front, the issue is around wanting older adults in the family to respect the younger adults and take responsibility for their relationship with them. Is there really anything more important than the connection we have with those that we love? Come on guys, I mean really?
My lesson is to recognise I don't have the power to make others behave in ways I think they should; i.e., supportive and loving. All I can do is to accept, send love around the situation and once again, let go of the outcome. Sound easy? Not so much when those closest to you are involved. And as I struggle with the impact, I keep trying to influence and change mindsets and attitudes which ALWAYS and I mean always comes back to bite me. So, in the end I have to hand it over to the big ones with white fluffy wings, as for me nothing else seems to work as well or as effectively.
For those of you that are struggling as well, I've come up with a couple of ideas that seem to work for me
Have a wonderful weekend everybody, believe in who you are and the love that surrounds you.